Espresso and Ice
by Gmariam
Summary: While sitting around the hub one afternoon, the team learns something they never suspected about Jack. Ianto immediately sets about correcting the situation. A bit of winter fluff with a dash of banter tossed in for variety.


Espresso and Ice

It was a mid-December afternoon, and Ianto had brought in an espresso maker to try out at the hub. It had been an early Christmas gift from…well, _for_ himself, and he had decided to bring it to work because he drank far more coffee, cappuccino, and espresso at the hub than at home. He had stopped for some high-end ingredients and set up shop after lunch, when everyone seemed to go to their stations and disappear into their own separate worlds.

The Rift had been quiet for five days straight, and although they had been thankful for the holiday break, by the end of the third day, most of them had also been bored and a bit stir crazy for the lack of anything but paperwork and catching up to do. Ianto wasn't sure pumping the team full of caffeine was the best solution, except that he'd noticed everyone slowing down markedly in the afternoons, and he wanted to try out his new machine. What better time than when no one was really getting anything done anyway?

And so he and Tosh sat on the sofa, while Gwen sat across from them and Owen stood off to the side, watching with a longing look on his face. Jack was out on some mysterious errand that Ianto tried not to think about. He only hoped Jack returned soon so he didn't miss out on what promised to be an engaging afternoon of tasting; then again, Jack might put them all back to work if he did.

Ianto had prepared several different varieties of the strong drink, all set out before them on individual trays. Gwen had suggested that they play "Never Have I Ever" as a way to not only pass the time, but earn their tastes. Ianto had rolled his eyes; even Tosh looked doubtful.

"Wouldn't it be a lot more interesting if you had shots of tequila instead of shots of espresso?" Owen asked skeptically.

"Whiskey," Ianto murmured, and next to him Tosh added, "Vodka."

"Seeing as we can't drink in the middle of the afternoon, we'll have to try it some other night," said Gwen. "Right now we're just having some fun."

"This is fun?" asked Owen.

Ianto sniffed at his tiny cup and smiled. "It would be if you could taste this."

"Rub it in, tea boy," he grumbled, but there was no malice behind it. In fact, he perked up and grinned. "Or should I call you the espresso angel?"

Ianto cocked his head. "I like that much better, actually. Espresso angel it is."

"No more calling me Doctor Death then," Owen replied, and Ianto pulled an innocent face. "Oh, I know you do. At least come up with something more original."

"Something to do with zombies, perhaps?" Ianto suggested, and Owens shuddered.

"God no. Keep thinking. It'll come to you."

"All right, enough name calling, you two," said Gwen. "Who wants to go first?"

"You," said all three of them in unison. Gwen stuck out her tongue.

"Fine. I have never…"

"Wait," said Ianto, setting down his cup. "We're doing this the wrong way. We should reverse it. Tell us something you _have_ done, and anyone who's done the same can also take a sip. The goal is to enjoy the drink as much as possible, after all."

"That's Ianto, always thinking with his mouth," Owen said, and Ianto gave him a crooked grin.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he murmured. Owen pretended to gag but didn't reply.

"Okay, how about this then," said Gwen. "We'll start off right and proper for Torchwood. I have kissed an alien."

Gwen and Tosh took a sip of their espresso and sighed in contentment; Owen nodded in agreement, looking wistful. They all turned to eye Ianto.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "Haven't."

"What about Lisa?" asked Gwen, but Ianto shook his head.

"She was human, she just wasn't herself." They let the subject die, thank god.

"Then Jack," challenged Owen, and Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"Jack's human too. Just from a different time."

"You're missing out, Jones," Owen said under his breath. Ianto almost laughed.

"I really doubt it."

"Since you didn't get to drink, Ianto, it's your turn then," said Gwen, and Ianto nodded as he thought about it.

"I have met the Queen of England," he offered, and they all groaned. He had recently been to London to report on Torchwood Three with Jack and had apparently made quite the impression at Buckingham Palace. Jack had said they'd even wanted to steal Ianto for their own general support. Ianto had told them he preferred Wales and his job protecting the good people of Cardiff from alien threats…but he also liked to mention it to his coworkers almost daily, as if reminding them that he could be somewhere else far more posh than an underground bunker.

No one else drank, and Ianto sipped his first cup of espresso with his eyes closed in something that almost resembled indecent ecstasy. "Tosh, your turn," he finally said.

Tosh looked down into her cup, a small smile playing on her lips. "I've slept with a time traveler." She looked up and met Ianto's eyes. He smiled and raised his cup to her.

"_Iechyd da_!" he offered.

"_Kanpai_," she replied, and they actually clinked cups. Owen merely grunted an unenthusiastic, "Cheers," while Gwen stared at her cup as sighed.

"My turn," she said when they had finished sipping. "I have carried an alien baby. Top that."

No one could, and Gwen finished her first cup with a broad grin on her face.

"Owen, got anything for us?" she asked, and Owen stood up a bit straighter from where he had been slouching.

"I've dissected an alien with three dicks."

They all stared at one another and sighed. Of course they hadn't; he'd just said it to spite them.

"My turn," said Ianto. "I have not only slept with a time traveler—"

"That's enough of that," Owen interrupted; Ianto ignored him.

"But I have time traveled myself. And not as a reset."

Tosh finished her drink while Gwen and Owen stared at him.

"When?" Owen demanded. "Not here, or we'd all know it."

Ianto finished his cup as well and smiled. "It was in London. Mishap in research."

"What happened then? Did you see the future? Or the past?" asked Gwen. She seemed unusually interested; then again, her eyes were bright and her toes were tapping on the floor.

Ianto reached over and took his second tasting cup. "The past. I jumped an hour into the past and had to wait to catch up with myself."

Owen snorted. "Barely counts then," he said while Gwen giggled. Ianto handed her and Tosh the next cup and gave Owen a haughty look.

"But it happened, so I get to drink," he said. "Next person."

Everyone was silent, sipping at their warm drinks without even bothering with the game anymore until Tosh suddenly spoke up.

"I recreated a sonic screwdriver once."

"Impressive," murmured Ianto as Tosh sipped alone. The door alarms blared and they all turned to look.

"I always wondered who thinks to make a screwdriver more sonic," said Jack, striding into the hub with what appeared to be several bags in his hands. When he saw them all staring at him and the packages, he stopped. "Oh, hi. I'll be right back."

He hurried around them without another word. Owen sat down on the sofa next to Tosh and spoke softly.

"Where the hell has he been?"

"I'd say shopping, by the looks of it," Ianto replied dryly.

"I thought that was your job," Owen tossed back. Naturally, Ianto rolled his eyes.

"I'm guessing those were personal items."

"And that's still not your job?"

"I don't buy Jack's underwear, no," said Ianto. "He's a grown man, he can do that himself."

Tosh giggled, and even Gwen laughed. They finished their second espresso; Gwen was now bouncing in her chair, and Tosh was fidgeting as well. Ianto felt remarkably calm. Caffeine gave him energy, yes, but it also gave him focus, and focus made him calm. He handed out the third tasting just as Jack joined them.

"Whatcha doing?" he drawled, throwing himself down on the battered old sofa next to Ianto and forcing everyone to move over a bit. Ianto handed Jack a cup, and he started to lift it to his lips before Gwen stopped him.

"Hang on, you," she said, leaning forward, eyes bright. "We've got a system going here."

Jack froze with the cup halfway to his lips. "A what?"

"More of a game," offered Ianto, grinning to himself as he tried to imagine what Jack would share once they explained it to him. He had several lifetimes of experience to draw upon, after all.

"Never have I ever," said Tosh. "You have to share something before you get to taste your espresso. Which is heavenly, by the way, Ianto." Ianto inclined his head in thanks.

"Oh," said Jack. "That's easy. I was just down in the City Centre, and I've never been ice skating."

They all stared at him as if he'd gone mad.

"What?" he asked. "Do I get to drink, or do you all drink? I don't remember how it works."

"We were actually sharing things we _have_ done," said Ianto, "but since you've gone and spoiled it, I'm afraid we have no choice."

Jack eyed him suspiciously. "No choice to what?"

"Well, for one, you need to drink the entire thing in one go," said Ianto, and waited while Jack finished his cup, then watched Ianto somewhat warily.

"Now what?"

"Now we take the piss." Ianto motioned to Owen.

"Jack," said the doctor, "how can you be over 150 years old and never gone ice skating? I mean, seriously? How long have you been in Cardiff?"

Jack glanced around at the rest of the team, all of them apparently waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry, I just never had the chance. No one's ever really suggested it, and I wasn't about to go by myself, and it's just never been a priority…" He trailed off. "So I've never been ice skating. Lighten up."

"This from a former Time Agent who's traveled in time and space," muttered Owen. Even Gwen was shaking her head.

"Seriously, Jack. You should try it. You might like it."

"Doubt it," Jack shrugged. Ianto handed him another cup. "I don't see what's so fun about shuffling around in circles on a pair of thin metal blades in the freezing cold. I'll pass."

Ianto caught Tosh's eye. He and Tosh had gone the week the rink had opened and had had a lovely time. He raised his eyebrow; she nodded; he grinned back. It was done.

"Well, I'd say that game is over," offered Ianto. "Nothing like a devastating confession about ice skating to kill the mood."

"You need tequila," offered Owen. "Do it right next time."

Jack grinned. "I like that idea. When are we doing that?"

Ianto rolled his eyes as he finished his espresso, but he caught Tosh's eye again and looked away with a smile. When the others had finished—three was quite enough—he cleaned up the cups and trays and headed toward the kitchen. After loading the dishwasher he'd had installed the previous year as a Christmas present to the team (well, to him, really, since he took care of the dishes), he returned to the main part of the hub to find the team still sitting around, talking animatedly. They were, in fact, continuing to give Jack a hard time about ice skating. He stood back and listened.

"What about sledding, Jack?" asked Owen. "Ever raced down a hill on a broken piece of plastic?"

"Or skiing?" asked Gwen. "That's brilliant. We should all try that."

"Does snowshoeing count?" asked Jack, and Ianto stifled a laugh as he walked by, trying to imagine Jack dressed up in furs and snowshoes.

"I'm heading upstairs," he announced. "Hope everyone enjoyed the tasting."

"Thank you, Ianto," said Tosh, grinning at him. "Have fun."

He raised an eyebrow. "Depends on the holiday crowd," he replied with a wink, then headed upstairs.

As soon as he got there, he went to the back office and found his coat. He also dug out two pairs of warm gloves and scarves. Then he sent Jack a text.

_Meet me by the SUV in ten. Dress warm. _

Jack replied almost immediately.

_I'm intrigued. Weevil hunting or some other clandestine rendezvous?_

Ianto laughed to himself.

_Perhaps a bit of both. Don't be late._

Ten minutes later (ten was a good number for them) Jack walked out to the car park. Ianto was already in the driver's seat and grinned as Jack climbed into the passenger side and leaned toward him for a kiss, obviously thinking that Ianto had called him out there for something quite different. Ianto pulled away, and Jack pouted.

"We could do that far more comfortably in your office," Ianto pointed out as he left the car park. He handed Jack the extra gloves and scarf.

"What are these for?" Jack asked.

"Our clandestine rendezvous," Ianto replied with a straight face. Jack narrowed his eyes.

"What are you planning?" he asked. Ianto pulled out onto the street and headed toward the City Centre.

"I'm merely rectifying a certain situation that has recently come to my attention," Ianto replied as formally as he could. Really, he wanted to laugh at what he was about to spring on Jack, but he was determined not to put the man off...not yet, anyway. There would probably be plenty of protesting later.

"You mean like inviting me weevil hunting without even giving me a kiss for good luck?" Jack suggested. Ianto couldn't help it; he burst out laughing.

"Yes, that," he replied. Jack looked out the window, and Ianto reached out to run a hand over his leg to get his attention. "How about I make it up to you when we're finished?" he suggested.

"Depends on what we're doing," said Jack. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were heading toward the City Centre."

"So you have been around Cardiff for a while," Ianto murmured, and Jack replied with a simple, "Prat."

After a few minutes of silence, Jack spoke again. "You're taking me ice skating, aren't you?"

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Think so?"

"It's the middle of the afternoon, you know," Jack pointed out. "We should be working."

"Tosh has it covered," Ianto replied. He hadn't spoken to her, but he knew it instinctively just from the looks they had exchanged that she was minding the hub and making any excuses to Gwen and Owen that needed to be made.

"That's besides the point," Jack said. "Do you even know how to ice skate?"

Once again Ianto couldn't help but laugh. "I've been ice skating all my life. It's practically a tradition in Cardiff. Tosh and I have come down here for the last two years."

"And you didn't invite me?" Jack asked in mock astonishment.

"I'm inviting you now," said Ianto, pulling into a car park not far from the rink. "So are you up for it?"

Jack grinned as they got out of the car. "You have no idea, Ianto Jones."

"That almost sounds like a challenge," said Ianto, joining him in front of the car.

"Do you accept?" asked Jack, and Ianto grinned back, suddenly feeling like a young boy about to race around the local pond. He leaned close and whispered in Jack's ear.

"I'll be skating circles around you in no time," he murmured. "And don't worry: I'll help you up when you fall."

"Will you kiss it and make it better?" Jack murmured back.

"Depends on where you fall," Ianto replied.

"You're a devious man, Ianto Jones," Jack said.

"I know," said Ianto, and he lead the way toward the rink. "Now let's do this so we can enjoy the rest of our clandestine rendezvous back at mine afterwards."

* * *

Author's Note:

This is another one of those stories where there is probably more, but I don't see it happening any time soon, so I'm marking it complete. I just had fun with the banter on this one, folks, nothing too deep. And I did promise something lighter after my last. Thank you for reading and enjoy!


End file.
